I Choose A Day Of Freedom Over Captivity
How to escape what you’re trapped in
Butterflies flutter in and out between us. I stare out into the artificial, man-made rainforest. He stares intently at me. My eyes try to uncover the species that I love the most. The humidity clings to us like a wet blanket draped around our shoulders.
I take a deep, damp breath within my lungs. The serene setting is interrupted occasionally by the screams of school children. I try to make the world fall away like a distant, reverberating hum.
“I need to get out of my relationship. But I don’t know how.”
The air falls into a stillness with my words. My head bows with my admission. I’m within a marriage that we’ve agreed, countless times, that we shouldn’t just keep trying. That there’s nothing left, only scraps, within this relationship for each other.
I know the only way we will both be free is if I move out and we finally have that discussion. It’s like we agree that it’s crumbling apart, yet we keep pretending the words were never said the next day.
It’s my endless Groundhog Day. I try to do what he asks, yet it isn’t enough. I know that a relationship can’t keep going with only one person trying to have the discussion time, and time again.
