I Don’t Understand Kindness

When you aren’t raised to believe in humanity

I don’t understand kindness

I was never taught it

but I do know it

I know the way I’ve been picked up

battered, beaten, barely breathing

my rib cage exposed

heart still beating

saying I can keep going

demanding that I keep living

I’ve had my brain

be the most unkind thing ever

telling me I’m worthless

whispering to me to give in

stop trying, why try?

It eats me from the inside out

like a parasite looking to burst forth

to emerge from my shell of a body

to take my place in this world

yet I don’t give in

I expand, breathe deeper

open my eyes to grey

that gives into a new day

I see colors I was blind to

life in the smallest shapes

this is the only way I can fight it