Make The Promise To Know Your Orgasms

How I get busy and vow to understand my body

It’s always been a part of me since early on in life. That thing we’ve been raised as women to be ashamed of doing. I’d do it in secrecy with locked doors and thick comforters covering my legs. I was never told how to do it. There were never any classes on giving myself pleasure.

I’m talking of course about masterbation. Even the word seems to conjure up dark alleyways and flickering fluorescent lights. It’s always assumed when men come of age that they are doing it. Young women it’s less of a priority or a cultural norm to have it done.

I remember exploring my body. It was always at night and with that little bit of danger following my every move. I gave myself my first orgasm early in life. I didn’t know what it was but I did know it made me feel amazing. After the aftershocks of my orgasm I felt calmer and more at peace. I knew that this was something special but that I had to hide it from everyone.

The act of pleasuring myself is always a way of me surrendering to myself. It’s a way of getting rid of my self-defeating thoughts. I can’t beat myself down as I try to love myself in this way. As the years have gone on I’ve made it a priority to be kinder in the words I use against myself.