“Sorry, not sorry”

How do you ever stop apologizing?

Artists Work, My Photo

“I’m sorry”

did I say it too much

or not enough?

The words tumbling out

like an acrobatic act

made for your entertainment

your satiation

something to put on pause

bring you ease while I

repeat, reminisce about my past

and this present I’m now living in

filled with anger boiling my blood

a tea kettle always held on high

I simmer and sizzle

right underneath the surface

never daring to scream yet

why is it that fear is more distinct?

You are that punch in my gut

the twisting of my intestines

always contorting around the edges.

I’m made for your design,

not mine,

please let me say it again

“I’m sorry I’m selfish and want my own life.”

“I’m sorry I don’t deserve anything, including kindness.”