Mother, I Can’t Teach You How To Love Yourself

A letter I made to her that I will never send

My photo, artwork

Mother, I can’t teach you how to love yourself

I wish I could give it to you

the love I’ve made for your hands to hold

for it to be something viable

valuable, vocal and never varying

in its strength to be delivered

into your arms and warm

your body on contact.

I cannot teach anyone

to love themselves I’ve learned

over the years but my mother

was the first and I never knew

her problems with me were

what she had against herself.

I held the weight of her insecurities

shoulders buckling under the load

dragging feet to face the day

until I decided to remove it.

I rolled back my bones

straightened my back

and set down the baggage

she had so consistently given me.

I said to the sky my insecurities