When You Are Your Father’s Daughter

How if you are like your dad it’s meant as an insult, never as a compliment



Photo by Derek Thomson on Unsplash

My becoming came from a different marriage than my brother’s. I am a part of a blended family, and our parents aren’t the same, being separated by our fathers on different sides. My mother loved my brother’s father, while my father, as she told me, was more there for childcare for my brother and for him to have a father figure.

My father wanted a child; my mother did not, but she relented, so I was born.

When my mother says through clenched teeth, breath hissing through them like a cobra rising to strike, “You are your father’s daughter,” this is meant as anything but a compliment.

It’s meant as one of the worst insults that could be given. My parents are still together, so this would commonly be said with him somewhere around to hear it.

It is not an apology to be my father’s daughter, the child he wanted to have and the daughter he always wished for. He never wanted a son but told me he wanted a daughter and was happy that I was this when I was born.

My father has a lot of qualities that aren’t the best, but who doesn’t have them? He has a rage that makes my blood go cold in my veins. It’s different than my mother’s constant anger, her ability to snap at any moment, the feeling that I needed to soothe her moods as best as I could or I’d be the easiest target. Since my brother was and always will be “the favorite,” she still reminds me.

But, my father also sees the world through a lens of exploration, admiration, and adoration.

I think one of my favorite moments, being his daughter, was through tragedy, through grief that I saw him despite the loss, still shine like a precious gemstone. One of his parents passed, and we were at the wake afterward. My father, ever the extrovert within a severely introverted family system, made his rounds saying hello to people who had known him or me from childhood.

“Your father hasn’t aged a day. He still looks the same as he did when he was…




I'm unapologetically me with a hard edged view of life. I love to travel and have crazy amounts of fun spaced between quiet moments.