Member-only story
You Don’t Deserve Cruelty
Don’t accept anything less
Some people are raised with the concept that love is something essential. It is a commodity not sold but as deserving to have as food, water, and shelter. They are raised with the fact that they are loved. Right down to their marrow and small imperfections only their parents know.
I wasn’t raised this way. I know I’m loved in a twisted way. How a certain tree will reach its gnarled limbs to the sunlight to hug its warmth. My life was not one where I was told of my strengths, beauty, and ability. I was more reminded of my weakness and given words that cut me down.
“You’re fat, stupid, selfish, no one will ever understand you like us. You’re too strange for anyone to ever get. If anyone puts up with you as a person you should settle with them because who else would put up with you?”
Words cycle through my head that I’ve been made to digest for years. I had done an amazing job eradicating them from my mind. Now, it all bubbles up to the surface and I can’t seem to keep it down.
I was controlled, my mother admits this to this day. That I am a sort of form of entertainment for her. As a child I was my least entertaining so she really didn’t care for me much. All of these hidden scars I deal with. I put a balm on them and forge my life in this place I now call…
